At the age of 5 my perfect life was shattered, when the dream I’d had 7 days before of my beautiful 36 year old mum dying came true. The aneurism in her brain ruptured. 5 close family members left their bodies through the same illness by the time I was 14. I chose to be born in a family with a genetic condition called Poly Cystic Kidneys (P.K.D.) where aneurisms occur in 5% of patients and we share it with 12 million people on the planet.
Like many spiritual seekers life seems to have big challenges. At 14 I’d learnt to be self-sufficient and not depend on anyone. Trusting others was dangerous. Everyone close left and I believed I was going to die before reaching 30. Our 2 young sons knew what to do if mummy collapsed to the floor. Many years later I discovered unhealthy fear is a close friend of kidney disease and boy was I infected with it.
In 1985 when the specialist replied “You should be happy with 28 years” when asked “What should I eat, drink and do to get better”, the innate wisdom we all have screamed “THAT DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT”. Even though a Doctors word was like God’s word then I decided that was the last time I would employ him!!
Through the next 30 years, the adventure of studying the healing arts, not only became miraculous but the miraculous has become the norm. Illness and looking for a cure, is often the catalyst for the conscious search to begin, as it was for me. Healing the disconnections from The Mother, abandonment and love is what made me whole. I now understand healing is not always about healing the body yet often it does.
In the early years Reiki, Pranic Healing and going to India were not the done thing for a Catholic girl from suburban Melbourne. Yet that innate drive to search for the truth is unstoppable once the dam breaks. Sometimes you just have to knock down the walls to see what’s beyond them. Through the battle zones of dis-ease, there is now peace with the past and a deep connection with truth.
Having experienced 2 strokes and fully recovered, a truly miraculous discovery and repair of 3 aneurisms in my brain, a kidney transplant 10 years ago, a recent recovery from a life threatening flu/pneumonia/coma where 5 viruses attacked at the same time, I am now a bit of a poster child for overcoming the odds.
When the Doctor said..”No it’s not safe to travel to India until after the brain surgery” one of the toughest decisions in my life to go, meant risking EVERYTHING!! I slept with Sai Baba’s robe under my pillow for a week and prayed to have courage. Was it reckless or a test of faith to travel to the feet of the Avatar in a third world country alone?
In an interview years before, Sai Baba had removed the thought forms about dying young and the fear inherited with it. He said ‘YOU LIVE A LONG HAPPY LIFE”. I believed Him although I thought maybe in the next one. On returning from Darshan in India, the shock of the surgeon was measured by my own when surgery was still needed. I thought I may be free of aneurisms. The complicated surgery went ahead with a full recovery. Although the dense physical body may still need to experience the Karmic debt, a Guru can help lift the load through Grace, our faith and devotion.
Many years later the gift of another second chance at life came with a transplant. This challenged the belief I could heal the condition. My resistance to accept a kidney from a loved one, for 3 years with less than 3% kidney function, working full time, with nothing more than a little fatigue is again against the odds. When an Avatar or great being wills something to happen…it does. Come close to a Divine conscious being and things change fast. It’s not always a smooth ride by our limited judgements but with ease and grace miracles happen in ways we may not expect. The lesson, follow the teachings, do the work, let go and let God.
Many years of practice has been boring, exciting, isolating, depressive, joyful.
As going to India was no longer an option on immune suppression, I asked Swami for a teacher in Australia, from my tribe, who was female around my age to help me. Within 3 days Shakti Durga arrived. I found my home.
I can vouch for the truth in Her teachings and life work. Change our thoughts and beliefs, change our lives now and beyond. For each of us the story may be different but the lessons are the same. Through grief, fear, suffering comes empathy, kindness, compassion and peace.
As a result of this story and with much gratitude, humility and grace it’s time to share the journey from illness and dis-ease to wellbeing. The journey never ends but we gain more as we hold less. Never give up the search for truth. Search till you find it. Be a nuisance and ask every question. Challenge everything. When you find it…hold tight and surrender. Where ever it leads may you be well and happy.
Thank you for reading this story so far…it’s about to change again as we prepare for our first WELLNESS EXPO here in the Outer Eastern suburbs of Melbourne, where we bring together many of the wonderful gifts and resources we received along the way. Our intention is to share the journey and bring love and light where there is darkness and fear. In a world with epidemics of dis-ease, addiction, depression and dysfunction may all who hear the call to help and be helped find us with ease and grace. In full faith SO BE IT.
Durga Darini (Chris Bell)
p.s. Durga Darini the Goddess of cutting all difficulties be with us.